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| I get to see my girlfriend next weekend, which I proposed the idea to her and she didn't reject it yet, so it's all groovy. :). And I offered to take Cathy up to Tyler too, and yeah, we'll see how that works out. I'm in a slightly crummy mood. I'm not in a bad one, it's just been a blah day. If I were pissed off, you would definitely know ahead of time. But it's no matter, whether or not she goes, doesn't change my mind about going to Tyler, unless Hannah has something to do that weekend, but she really wants to see me just as much I want to see her, so yeah. :). I've successfully gotten a girl to completely fall for me. :). She hasn't told me that she's fallen for me yet, but I'm just waiting.
My girlfriend equals absolutely amazing. And I know she knows.
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| For the girlfriend, I do try to be less needy, which in fact, I think makes her want me more. Just because I don't mind who she hangs out with, I just let her know that I like it when she texts me, I love receiving texts from her, because they make my day just so much better. If I'm having a rough day, I automatically smile when I see a text from her. :).
I've been slightly moody lately, I think it's all the stress. So, I'm trying to let myself unstress, or even stress less. Though, waking up late on a test day, not studying as much as I would like to, and yeah, but, it's okay. I'm going to talk to my girlfriend this weekend about visiting her next weekend. She'll probably say yes, because she's gotten used to doing stuff with me there. :).
I miss her so much. :(. Gosh. We haven't said I love you to each other, but I do love her. I guess I'm just kind of waiting, though I'm in no rush. She's just wonderful. I can't help but smile. :). God! And she buys me records and everything. I'm going to frame her a picture of me, and us, and get her a record (when I get more money, of course, I'm completely broke, I have no idea how I'm going to be able to drive to class. =__=). I have like a total of 6 dollars left, and we're out of some crap that I use for daily living, so I'm like, damn. That fucking sucks. :(.
Oh how money's become so fucking important. Jeez.
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| So my girlfriend is pretty much the coolest person alive, plus when I thanked her for appreciating me so much, she said that she was crazy about me, and I just melted. I really enjoy her company so much, and it's sad that we're so far apart and only get to see each other like once every two weeks, but now she's actually willing to see me, even though she's got like other stuff going on, which she either takes me to or lets me join in, it's really fun. :). I can't wait for the weekend she comes down to see me, that's going to be the best weekend for her, and I can guarantee it. :D. She'll be so excited and she'll have so much fun that she won't want to leave either. :). Though, I am worried about her driving, because she usually doesn't drive such a long distance. So I think I'm just going to go visit her for the time being. :). She's just so fucking amazing. I have a test in history tomorrow, ugh. I'm so tempted to skip too. I wrote Scott a somewhat threatening letter and put it on the refridgerator. I hope he reads it, because I really need him to. I realize that that boy needs to pay bills, but I'd rather not groceries being the only bills that I can pay. Ever since I've been back, I haven't been able to pay SHIT, because I've been dishing out money for food. And bullshit, Scott says he won't eat any of the shit I buy. Okay, so he literally can't eat anything in the apartment. I don't want him to do anything, I just want him to be more appreciative and help out every once in a while. I mean, is that too fucking much to ask or anything? Goddamn, and he has the balls to get mad at me when he KNOWS Saturday is chinese new years eve, and he got mad that I couldn't go to the fucking bar with him.
Fucking boys. I hate him. Yet, he's my best friend. He gets on my damn nerves though. Is that how you're really supposed to be with a married couple? I thought you were supposed to cherish him/her and all. Goddamn. He just drives me up the fucking wall, and I only got like 2.5 hours of sleep. =___=. So I'm a bit cranky. I bought the dog dog food too, so I mean, gr. Scott should help me, before I fucking blow up in his face. I've been nazi and cleaning around the house and shit, and been OCD about my kitchen, and I think he realizes because he's beginning to help me with dishes, which is really nice for a change. Now, time for the bathroom. UGH. Men.
AND, not to mention, he's been using my shampoo and bodywash! WTF?! T__T. Someone kill me please. I'm too damn stressed living with Scott.
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| So last night I had my first breakdown in the longest time. Maybe it was cause I woke up with a crapload of dishes to finish washing. Maybe it was another. But just the fact that it tickled something, and my inner alter ego escaped for the first time in a VERY long time. I haven't seen her in the longest time and feeling her there was scary. I know I can't remove a part of me from myself, but I sure wanted to last night. Seeing her, feeling her, it was just scary in a sense, and I wanted to smash that side as quick as I could. And even more scary, that was who I was a very long time ago. Always depressed, always sad, always thinking about the negative side yet doing nothing about it. I'm glad I have matured and changed from that alter ego, but the thing is, it's just wow. I don't know. It's funny, a year ago, this would've been the exact opposite. My daring side would rarely come out and my negative side was always around, and to think it's exactly the opposite now. It's quite amazing how things work actually.
Damn, I'm listening to the Eagles, I totally want to buy an Eagles album right now. My boss is out sick, ugh, poor lady, though she's been getting on my nerves actually, haha. God I love my record player, and I surprised my girlfriend with another record totally. :). It's so awesome. She's so oblivious, but it's so easy to get her something with it. LOL. :).
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| So I've moved back in with Scott, and the fact of the matter is, I have pretty much just settled down just recently, gotten a new job and all that stuff, and he's looking for help with rent. I can't give him any more than any money, because I have my own shit to pay for, which I really do need to pay for but the boy's retarded and yeah, he's just ugh. Drives me totally nuts. I've paid about 60 dollars for groceries so far, he eats them all up, and when I make a big deal about it, he tells me he's going to stop eating my food, but when I'm gone, he eats all my damn food that I pay for and I need to go shopping yet AGAIN! =__=. Tell me that does not piss you off? And on top of that, my idiotic best friend needs all these bills paid AND expects me to give him all this money for rent and I'm just almost finished with him again, it's gotten to the point of exhaustion, and I'm too exhausted to talk to him lately, because I'm afraid I may actually blow up at him. Seeing my girlfriend though was awesome this weekend. I know that she really likes me, and I think I'm in love with her, which is a great feeling. I'm going to go home in a little bit actually and listen to some records and shit like that. I'm going to call it a early day, I need to rest up and do some shit. Yeah. Well, let me go finish up some shit and I'll be back later.
My life's finally settling in, fitting into the piece of the puzzle. I'm working hard to keep it fitted, but yeah. Just trying to let life flow along. Jia yo, break a leg, you can do it.
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